Do you need to tas?

What is tas? Let me present a scenario to set the scene. You go out with a group of your closest homegirls and after looking and debating over 10 different entrees, you finally picked a worthy dish to suffice your appetite. You eat, drink, and chat to partake in the social event. After the meal is over, your friends continue to share their latest life story while your stomach starts to churn in hope to tas. Tas is my secret code word for "take a shit."

I really had to tas tonight when I was out with a group of friends. We met up at a local eatery and pigged out on gourmet burgers, bottomless steak fries, and fancy fruity drinks. Don't be fooled by these enticing food because by the time the meal was over, my bottom was screaming for release. I really needed to take a tas. However, I fear public bathroom. I am afraid to interrupt my friend sharing time by getting up for a quick release (not that release pervo!). While I can just fart out air balls to relieve my bloating stomach - I can't guarantee that they will be silent or loud air... or worst... what if it wasn't air but actually shit? For these fears, I hold it in and continue to give off fake smiles, unnecessary nodding, and interrupting with irrelevant comments. Because lord knows, once you fart aloud or shit in your pants, you might as well withdraw from your saving account and move to a third world country. Why? Just ask yourself, do you want to be friends with a constant farter or dirty pants shit taker?

So how do you avoid the urge to tas while dining out with your friends, chilling at the club, or going out on a date? I urge you to eat before going out. You should pig out at home, tas, take a shower, put on your sluttiest outfit and off you go to a pleasant bloating-free night. Otherwise, you will have to make a quick escape to the nearest drug store for Tums. The decision is yours. I would just eat at home and order a safe dish like soup or water at the restaurant to avoid the urge of having to tas.


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