Asian Twink - I refuse to be labeled that!!!!

Someone approached me the other day in disbelief that I am not Chinese, that I didn't come from Hong Kong or Taiwan. I wasn't offended or anything - initially. Keep in mind, I have nothing against anyone from there, but I knew where the discussion was heading; I am an Asian Twink and that I love to sucky sucky any white older guy twice my youthful age. UGH. So many reasons why I am not a twink! And no, I am not stereotyping Asian Twinks are only from Hong Kong or Taiwan. The truth is Asian Twinks are found everywhere!!  You can't hide from them!..

Reasons why Chez (Bitch, it's Shay) is not an Asian Twink:
(Working list, will add more. Suggestions? Leave some in the comments. Better yet, if you are an Asian Twink, just describe yourself)

1) I am not a under 100lbs. The wind blows, I am still standing up. My waist size? 30! Not <22.

2)I do not strive to achieve cheap-ass bleached orange-wanna-be-blond streaked hair, with long bangs. It's not split down the middle, to the side, to the side and up, to the side and up and around, back up and down...

3)I do not dress in bright colored clothing acting to be either: a) a wanna be gangster or b) a Harajuku girl or c) a character from Pokemon

4) Moan, cry and scream in agony when having sex; or make quiet, subtle, chirping sounds of pleasure during sex. Have you seen any asian porn???? 

5) Whether when I shower, engage in youthful activities requiring nudity, my body is not pixelated. Don't get this concept? Again, watch Asian porn...

6) My Ipod playlist does not entirely consist of songs that I cannot read or understand; and is not 100% techno based w/ lyrics that don't make sense. I mean, Bad Romance by Lady Gaga is at the top of my list!! Ra-Ra-Ra a Ra a, Ro-Ro-ro-O-Mance, Ga-Ga-Ah a Ah a

Just in case there are people who don't know what kind of creature an Asian Twink is, here are some visuals:

Split hair, down the middle to serve old man's foot??

Twinks in Action, if I showed the whole image, you'll see two boney bodies thrusting in action. But of course, this blog is PG-17

Bleach much? Daily school outfit? 

Yes, Bitch grew out her bangs, bleached them, set-up her camera to take a picture of herself in a car

God, how long does it take to do your hair?? I'd rather be eating and gaining weight to keep my waist at 30

I see why they sensor that shit!

Asian Twink embracing his Twinkness, and his Twinky. Ugh...

So now you have an idea of what an Asian Twink is. For those readers who have this perception of me, you definitely thought wrong. People fight for end world hunger, world peace....I fight to debunk the perception of me being a twink! I should get a No-Twink Prize! has this definition of a Twink:
gay slang for a cute young thing with nothing upstairs

How to use the word in a sentence:
No, Chez is not an Asian Twink; he weighs more than 100 lbs and does not serve white older men's feet; his hair is not split nor bleached; and is not pixelated.

Let me cocksearch you!


<- I came across this ad while stalking people on facebook. Rather than finding the updates on who is fat and who is not from fellow "friends" I was distracted by this deceiving ad. I wasn't sure if the ad was promoting online sex freebie or to perform an oral, I mean background check on your date. Lets get real, my landlord didn't even perform a "criminal" background check on me. I don't understand. Is it bad to date a criminal? I think it might be kind of hot. I mean he has own up to the image of badass boy of the town. Don't you want to be the badass boy's gurl? Then again, I don't want a black eye. The only crime in my book is if your date wears Uggz or masks herself/himself with cologne purchased from Walgreens. Other than that, you're good to go.

To do a background check for a date is too much work, I don't even want to pay my portion of the meal on the first date, let alone pay for a criminal background check. Can I just check how big he is downstair? I will do a cocksearch in a hurry. To take it a step further, I will even go down in the restaurant table discreetly, cop a feel, and return to my seat ready with my order in 69 seconds. And the best thing about cocksearch is you get instant result. Your result won't be lingering in an office waiting for you to pick up unless your date is over the age of 55, in that case you will need to tell him to make friends with the pharmacist. There are two results for cocksearch: "gimme gimme" or "damn your weewee is tiny." Allow me to show you the emotions with the help of google image:

Positive Result (Gimme Gimme) vs. Negative Result (Damn your weewee is tiny)